A Brief Word From The Montréal Antifasciste Collective
Some time ago, a young man wrote asking if we would be willing to remove his name and contact information from an article that we had published a few years ago, given that he has since distanced himself from the white nationalist movement. After a series of exchanges we had with him to ensure his good faith and sincerity, we decided to agree to his request, and, with his permission, we are publishing the testimony he was anxious to share with us. It is an impressive example of introspection and personal growth that we are more than happy to share.
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In the summer of 2021, Montréal Antifasciste published an article about me on its website. The article detailed all of my militant activities, both online and off. I have written the following piece to put that period of my youth behind me and to make amends for the mistakes of a young man who had lost his way.
From A Typical Young Man To A Far-Right Militant
I had a fairly normal childhood, not giving a lot of thought to the social issues of the time, which I viewed with a certain detachment (which is undoubtedly healthy for any child). Gradually I developed an interest in geography and history, but with no particular bias toward any specific ideological perspective.
When I was around fourteen or fifteen, I gradually became politicized, initially embracing traditional sovereigntist beliefs. Then I stumbled upon the Nomos-TV YouTube channel (which was still available on that platform at the time) and its charismatic host Alexandre Cormier-Denis. For the young man searching for meaning whom I was at the time, it was a monumental wake-up call. I was presented with a coherent vision that went against the grain of the world in which I was living. Behind the words of this extraordinary speaker lay an incredible aura of rebellion, a complete upheaval of everything I had been taught about politics up to that point. It was this rebellion that immediately captivated me.
According to the new perspective I encountered, the influx of newcomers from abroad, particularly from Africa and the Middle East, was an all-encompassing threat to Québec’s identity. The hosts of this channel prophesized the “Islamization” of public spaces, the “barbarization” of society, and the “disappearance” of the Québec nation. Having already embraced Québec independence as an imperative, I moved on to fearing the great replacement of the white population in Québec and in the West more broadly. Beginning then, the future ethnic makeup of Québec became the main issue that drove me ideologically, with my anxiety increasing daily and with each new video posted on Nomos-TV. I also began to immerse myself in the plethora of right-wing nationalist content available online.
Around the beginning of 2020, I “met” two people online who shared most of my views, and together we launched an Instagram page. This page had an explicit political purpose: posting right-wing and nationalist memes. We eventually connected with several other people in this online sphere, both in Québec and internationally. From the earliest days of the page, I posted content that was thoroughly hateful toward trans people, Québec citizens of foreign descent, and Muslims, the degree of hatred intensifying throughout the page’s existence. Beyond this page, my online activity primarily centered on a private discussion group created with the aim of establishing closer ties with some of the page’s followers. (At our peak, we had a significant following of around 1,400 people, if my memory serves me correctly).
At the same time, I was also active offline: I purchased membership cards for both the Bloc Québécois and the Parti conservateur du Québec, hoping to contribute in my own small way to shifting these parties further to the right (in the case of the PCQ, the goal was primarily to “nationalize” the discourse—I wasn’t alone in this undertaking, by the way). I also connected with some activists from the now-defunct Front canadien-français, who are today involved in the identitarian group Nouvelle Alliance.
Ideologically, I had become uncompromisingly focussed on Québec’s ethnic composition, believing that the struggle for the “survival of the race” had to be at the heart of any viable political option. As I saw it, Islam was the greatest threat to the survival of Western civilization, and I consequently applauded every action taken here and around the world against the followers of the Prophet Muhammad (anti-hijab laws, the rejection of Muslim immigration, even Israel’s abuse of Palestinians). The list of figures I admired included, besides Cormier-Denis (whose every public utterance I followed avidly), Maurice Duplessis, Jean-Marie Le Pen, Éric Zemmour, and Augusto Pinochet. While flirting with a proto-fascist, even a fully fascist, mindset, I amused myself by constantly pushing the boundaries of unapologetic racism.
The period when I believed myself safe from any counterattack by my opponents came to an abrupt end when the article by Montréal Antifasciste was published. My identity was revealed, as were those of several other members of the discussion group. The other contributors to the page immediately jumped ship, leaving me alone to manage the project we had been running together. At the same time, my personal life became fairly chaotic, partly due to the consequences of the article’s publication on my relationships, as well as the unchecked escalation of my political obsessions (and other matters I don’t feel the need to get into here). This period of my life lasted a little over a year, during which time I finally decided to abandon the Instagram project (after having unsuccessfully attempted to revamp the format).
Breaking Free
I was around seventeen years old and had just finished high school when I began to question my beliefs. Inspired by the writings of various authors, the possibility of spiritually refocusing my inner life became apparent to me—it was during this period that I finally took up reading in earnest, a passion that still grips me today. I developed a taste for exploring the world’s different traditions, a universe that was previously unknown to me beyond my prejudices. I saw a common wisdom in all of the traditions I examined, which shook my beliefs in Western supremacy. I saw the grandeur of the world, the depth of non-Christian sacred texts, and the beauty of other cultures. Of course, this process didn’t occur overnight; it unfolded over about a year.
When I was around eighteen, I realized the extent of my earlier error; I gave up my militant engagement (with the exception of attending a few recent marches in support of Palestine, which isn’t bad for a former virulent Islamophobe), completely re-evaluated my views, and developed a taste for exploring the unknown. I also broadened my intellectual horizons, reading Plato, Arendt, Camus (the one who doesn’t hate foreigners), and Adorno, among others. So today, at twenty-one, I can say that I have finally emerged from that whirlwind of hatred I plunged into when I was younger. It is against this background—which, despite everything, was formative—that I watch with concern the rise of a discourse of rejection of the other throughout the West, knowing full well the sort of ideas that stand to benefit from this. As Europe sinks into an overt rejection of a significant portion of its own population (because, yes, as some need reminding, Europeans of immigrant origin are Europeans in their own right); as the United States veers toward a dystopian vision that combines authoritarianism, unbridled capitalism, and, potentially, a vision of a “new man” enhanced by technology; as some Québec citizens succumb to a spirit of distrust of their Muslim compatriots; it is important to stay the course and not let ourselves be discouraged by the turn of events. The far right’s victory in the realm of ideas is not inevitable.
Wherever possible, we must counter identitarian rhetoric and expose the lies of those who seek to pit us against one another at a time when humanity faces an unprecedented existential threat due to the impact of our consumerist lifestyle on the environment.
I am writing this today not only to make amends for my errors but also to offer a glimmer of hope: as long as there is still enough openness in the realm of ideas and in public discourse for people to break free from this straitjacket, break through the wall, and realize their errors—as I did—all is not lost.
